"Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Gays in the Military? Who really gives a fuck! Gay people have every right to fight for our country as anyone else does. This argument reminds me of what comedian Dennis Miller said about gay marriage. He said, "Gay people have every right to be just and miserable as the rest of us straight married people."

I asked my white, 65 year old father and fellow veteran, what he thought of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Keep in mind that he was in the military in the late 60's, a pretty hot time for civil rights. He said, "It sounds like the same bullshit when they did not want blacks in the military. They actually thought that they would contaminate the service and hurt the other soldiers."

I couldn't have put it better. What is the big fucking deal here? Is the military actually scared that the gays will turn the straight soldiers gay? That is just butt ass stupid. You would think that the military would have better things to do than make an issue out of something so fucking dumb. Let me name a few... Finding that fuck stain Bin Laden, getting the fuck out of the middle east, saving money, figuring out a way to get veterans kick ass medical benefits. Oh yeah, and maybe we could pay these Gays, Men, Women, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians etc... a little more that your average Wall-Mart employee.

I mean they only put their lives on the line everyday so that you can drive your Hummer to Best Buy to get the new Xbox. Then make a quick stop by Bed, Bath and Beyond in order to pick up the newest tampon holder. And you can't forget a quick stop at McDonald's to pick a huge sack of shit sandwiches.

So to all of you out there who are against gays in the military. Thanks for Keeping It Shitty and Go fuck yourself!


Sincerely,

Captain Shitty

Republicans fuck the poor and reward the rich

You slimy fuck bastards!

For those of you who don't know, the House today passed tax cuts for people who make 250,000.00 or less. They also passed a 3% tax raise for people that make more than 250,000.00. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said and I quote

"Republicans would block its passage in his chamber because it would amount to a tax increase for high earners.
“It’s not going to go anywhere” in the Senate, McConnell told reporters.

What a fuck. How on earth can this guy get away with saying something like that. If you think that is fucked check out what wonder boy, soon to be Speaker of the House, John Boehner said, he called the tax vote “chicken crap” during a press conference. “We’re 23 months from the next election and the political games have already started,” They sure have, the Republicans are out to fuck the poor. These assholes are self-serving rich fucks looking to protect their piece of the pie. They are like the kid on the playground that won't share the cool new toy.

Dear Democrats - grow a pair! You should have your foot all the way up the Republicans asses. As my man BIll Maher would say on his HBO series "Real Time with Bill Maher". President Obama you need to act a little more like George W. Bush. Get up in front of the country and say, "this is the way we are going to do it, if you don't like it, go fuck yourself!" Where is your voice? Are you going to continue to let the big bully on the playground push you around?

Oh yeah the Republicans also voted down the extension of unemployment benefits, again, three weeks before Christmas.

Fuck the poor and reward the rich.

Keeping it Shitty once again...Republicans!

Captain Shitty

Black Friday Shopping

Really? Why would you subject yourself to getting up at 4am and going to Target or Walmart just to get a few buck off some shitty product that they sell. Those stores and all stores like them, suck ass, and I hate going to them on the other 364 days of the year. I can't even imagine what they are like when you pack them with a shit ton of suburban bargain hunters.

I know that times are tough and people are looking to make the holidays happen a little cheaper. I have a suggestion. Buy less. Instead of buying a bunch of shitty, cheap gifts that are not even made in the USA, for the ones that you love. Get them one really cool thing. Or if times are really tight, think of something original. Bake some fucking cookies, who hates cookies! Get up off your ass and make something. I guarentee that your someone special will like that a hell of a lot more than a fucking tie rack or pantyhose holder.

If you do have a few bucks. Then do what I do every year. The day before Christmas Eve, start off at a bar, in an area where there are several shops and stores. Have a couple of drinks, go to a store, buy some shit, go to another bar. Repeat as much as necessary until your shopping is done. If you are lucky, by the time you are done you will not only have finished your shopping but you should have one hell of a buzz. Plus, if you are single or not, the holidays are really stressful and the best way to combat stress... Sex! Your chances of meeting a morally challenged young lady are greatly increased.

Finally, take a cab home and sleep in.

Have a shitty Thanksgiving!

Sincerely,


Captain Shitty

Congress - Unemployment Benefits? Kiss my Ass!

Dear Congress,

I want to take this opportunity to thank you, along with about 12 Democrats, for totally fucking the unemployed. You decided to cut unemployment benefits as of December 1st. Really? Three weeks before Christmas. I am sure that the children of the unemployed whose benefits are cut, are going to be very happy. Congrats!

Sincerely,

Ebenezer Scrooge

I wonder how many members of Congress are going to go without at Christmas? How many of your children are going to suffer?

I was watching Keith Olbermann tonight and he told his viewers that the average member of congress makes about $900,000.00. You fucks! Do the right thing and approve the benefits after the Thanksgiving Holiday. Or would you dick fucks prefer to give tax breaks to those who make more that $250,000.00. Humm how convenient for you... I am no economist but, wont the approval of unemployment benefits stimulate the economy? More mortgages get paid, rent, car payments and guess what? These people need to buy food and other shit! It would make sense to me that it might even create a few JOBS.

Since you took over the house, the unemployment benefit extension was one of your first votes. And you decided to use that power to kick the unemployed while they were down.

Good job and Fuck you!

Congress - Keeping it Shitty!


Sincerely,

Captain Shitty

Bank of America

Fuck these bastards! What a bunch of blood sucking fucks. At every turn they try to fuck you.

I remember about a year ago my brother wrote me a check from his bank. I will give you one guess which bank it was. Times were tough and I had to go to a Bank of America location in order to cash the check. My bank account was overdrawn so I would not of been able to cash the check at my bank. By the way I only bank at independent banks, not going to give a cent of my money to those vultures. I went into the bank and they told me that they were going to have to charge me a 5.00 processing fee. They did however, offer to let me open an account and deposit the check. I thought about opening an account that day and then cashing the check and then closing the account. I didn't have the time and I needed the money. So I paid them 5 bucks to cash a check drawn from their bank! I was so pissed and it ruined my day.

That's how they do business. They prey on the person who "needs the money" and fuck them!

I have a friend who works for Bank of America. Did you know that they developed an entire computer system called "Equator", in order to process foreclosures and short sales. They are fucking so many people that they need a computer system.

I remember reading an article on The Huffington Post's website called Move your Money. Basically it said that if you move your money to a local bank or credit union that is the best way to fuck these assholes who are only out to fuck you out of your money. If you are interested check out the website below.


www.moveyourmoney.info

Don't let these assholes take advantage of you. MOVE YOUR MONEY!

Captain Shitty

Satan'sTwinkie

I was talking to a very good friend of mine the other night. He told me to beware of eating Satan's Twinkie. He told me that when you are at your lowest that's when Satan will appear and offer you his Twinkie. I have tasted this so called twinkie and let me tell you friends, that Twinkie tastes really good.

That Twinkie comes in many ways, in comes in the form of the legal system. The legal system is set up for failure. Especially for the poor, without the money and means, you are fucked! The legal system is set up to give the advantage to the rich. Satan's Twinkie.

Drugs, the synthetic kind, the kind that our designed to keep users addicted and chained to the drug. The kind that truly ruins peoples lives. The kind of drugs that drive people to the point of madness, that morphs them into something that they are not. Satan's Twinkie.

Weakness. Being weak means that you are not able to stand by what you believe in. It makes you compromise your values. It makes good men beat their wives. It makes good women trade their integrity for false hope. It allows fear to eat away at your soul and it makes you act in out in ways that are deplorable. It turns people into monsters and they are no longer human. Satan's Twinkie.

Beware when Satan shakes his Twinkie at you, he is coming not only for your mind, he is coming for your soul. You will surely fall into a pit of dis pare, sadness and loneliness that your could never imagine. Satan's Twinkie.

Women - Painting your fingers and toenails.

Attention all Women.

If you decide to paint your fingers and toenails, cute little colors, then do just that. If you decide to do it, then fucking do it! My beef is with those of you who let them go to shit. You know who you are. Nothing looks worse than a woman who lets the fucking paint chip off, like a shed that is weathered in the elements. You look stupid! Why would you show this off to the world? There is no reason that I should have to look at your paint chipped shed. Cover it up, unless it is your goal to look like shit. In that case, well done, keep up the good work. If you do not have the discipline to keep your shed painted, then grab some paint thinner and rub it off!

More to come about women...

Disclaimer - For those who don't get it.

I decided to started this blog out of frustration of everyday life. Out of my general distaste of people. Out of a growing feeling inside myself that people suck. I am going to use this blog to point out how seriously fucked up all of you are. I will use this as an outlet to share with the blog-o-sphere my observations. I am in no way an expert. As a matter of fact I am your run of the mill degenerate, bar side philosopher and skum bag.

I don't expect much of a following and I really don't give a shit if you read it or not. I am very confident that my FIVE twitter followers will jump ship as soon as they view the new direction that my twiting and subsequent blog is going to take. For those of you who do decide to go down with the ship, this is what you can expect.

Total honesty. I am going to tell it to you the way I see. Those things that I share with you will not always agree with, if you agree with everything, then you must be more fucked up than I thought and you should consider getting some serious help. I will use this to call people out on the stupid shit that they do, including myself. Nothing is scared here. Women, children, politicians, gay, straight, rich, poor, stupid people and the list goes on and on.

Finally, this blog is not for the weak. Its not for those of you who can't hand the truth. Its not for those of you who are easily offended. If you find your self sickened by the use of the word "shit" on your stupid TV show - Get out now, this is not the place for you. This blog is for those of you who have a sick, tilted view of the world.

Sincerely,

Captain Shitty