Really? Why would you subject yourself to getting up at 4am and going to Target or Walmart just to get a few buck off some shitty product that they sell. Those stores and all stores like them, suck ass, and I hate going to them on the other 364 days of the year. I can't even imagine what they are like when you pack them with a shit ton of suburban bargain hunters.
I know that times are tough and people are looking to make the holidays happen a little cheaper. I have a suggestion. Buy less. Instead of buying a bunch of shitty, cheap gifts that are not even made in the USA, for the ones that you love. Get them one really cool thing. Or if times are really tight, think of something original. Bake some fucking cookies, who hates cookies! Get up off your ass and make something. I guarentee that your someone special will like that a hell of a lot more than a fucking tie rack or pantyhose holder.
If you do have a few bucks. Then do what I do every year. The day before Christmas Eve, start off at a bar, in an area where there are several shops and stores. Have a couple of drinks, go to a store, buy some shit, go to another bar. Repeat as much as necessary until your shopping is done. If you are lucky, by the time you are done you will not only have finished your shopping but you should have one hell of a buzz. Plus, if you are single or not, the holidays are really stressful and the best way to combat stress... Sex! Your chances of meeting a morally challenged young lady are greatly increased.
Finally, take a cab home and sleep in.
Have a shitty Thanksgiving!
Sincerely,
Captain Shitty
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Congress - Unemployment Benefits? Kiss my Ass!
Dear Congress,
I want to take this opportunity to thank you, along with about 12 Democrats, for totally fucking the unemployed. You decided to cut unemployment benefits as of December 1st. Really? Three weeks before Christmas. I am sure that the children of the unemployed whose benefits are cut, are going to be very happy. Congrats!
Sincerely,
Ebenezer Scrooge
I wonder how many members of Congress are going to go without at Christmas? How many of your children are going to suffer?
I was watching Keith Olbermann tonight and he told his viewers that the average member of congress makes about $900,000.00. You fucks! Do the right thing and approve the benefits after the Thanksgiving Holiday. Or would you dick fucks prefer to give tax breaks to those who make more that $250,000.00. Humm how convenient for you... I am no economist but, wont the approval of unemployment benefits stimulate the economy? More mortgages get paid, rent, car payments and guess what? These people need to buy food and other shit! It would make sense to me that it might even create a few JOBS.
Since you took over the house, the unemployment benefit extension was one of your first votes. And you decided to use that power to kick the unemployed while they were down.
Good job and Fuck you!
Congress - Keeping it Shitty!
Sincerely,
Captain Shitty
I want to take this opportunity to thank you, along with about 12 Democrats, for totally fucking the unemployed. You decided to cut unemployment benefits as of December 1st. Really? Three weeks before Christmas. I am sure that the children of the unemployed whose benefits are cut, are going to be very happy. Congrats!
Sincerely,
Ebenezer Scrooge
I wonder how many members of Congress are going to go without at Christmas? How many of your children are going to suffer?
I was watching Keith Olbermann tonight and he told his viewers that the average member of congress makes about $900,000.00. You fucks! Do the right thing and approve the benefits after the Thanksgiving Holiday. Or would you dick fucks prefer to give tax breaks to those who make more that $250,000.00. Humm how convenient for you... I am no economist but, wont the approval of unemployment benefits stimulate the economy? More mortgages get paid, rent, car payments and guess what? These people need to buy food and other shit! It would make sense to me that it might even create a few JOBS.
Since you took over the house, the unemployment benefit extension was one of your first votes. And you decided to use that power to kick the unemployed while they were down.
Good job and Fuck you!
Congress - Keeping it Shitty!
Sincerely,
Captain Shitty
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Bank of America
Fuck these bastards! What a bunch of blood sucking fucks. At every turn they try to fuck you.
I remember about a year ago my brother wrote me a check from his bank. I will give you one guess which bank it was. Times were tough and I had to go to a Bank of America location in order to cash the check. My bank account was overdrawn so I would not of been able to cash the check at my bank. By the way I only bank at independent banks, not going to give a cent of my money to those vultures. I went into the bank and they told me that they were going to have to charge me a 5.00 processing fee. They did however, offer to let me open an account and deposit the check. I thought about opening an account that day and then cashing the check and then closing the account. I didn't have the time and I needed the money. So I paid them 5 bucks to cash a check drawn from their bank! I was so pissed and it ruined my day.
That's how they do business. They prey on the person who "needs the money" and fuck them!
I have a friend who works for Bank of America. Did you know that they developed an entire computer system called "Equator", in order to process foreclosures and short sales. They are fucking so many people that they need a computer system.
I remember reading an article on The Huffington Post's website called Move your Money. Basically it said that if you move your money to a local bank or credit union that is the best way to fuck these assholes who are only out to fuck you out of your money. If you are interested check out the website below.
www.moveyourmoney.info
Don't let these assholes take advantage of you. MOVE YOUR MONEY!
Captain Shitty
I remember about a year ago my brother wrote me a check from his bank. I will give you one guess which bank it was. Times were tough and I had to go to a Bank of America location in order to cash the check. My bank account was overdrawn so I would not of been able to cash the check at my bank. By the way I only bank at independent banks, not going to give a cent of my money to those vultures. I went into the bank and they told me that they were going to have to charge me a 5.00 processing fee. They did however, offer to let me open an account and deposit the check. I thought about opening an account that day and then cashing the check and then closing the account. I didn't have the time and I needed the money. So I paid them 5 bucks to cash a check drawn from their bank! I was so pissed and it ruined my day.
That's how they do business. They prey on the person who "needs the money" and fuck them!
I have a friend who works for Bank of America. Did you know that they developed an entire computer system called "Equator", in order to process foreclosures and short sales. They are fucking so many people that they need a computer system.
I remember reading an article on The Huffington Post's website called Move your Money. Basically it said that if you move your money to a local bank or credit union that is the best way to fuck these assholes who are only out to fuck you out of your money. If you are interested check out the website below.
www.moveyourmoney.info
Don't let these assholes take advantage of you. MOVE YOUR MONEY!
Captain Shitty
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